The Love Story: Episode 5

Can’t Take It Anymore!

Attempting to douse a volcano filled with molten lava with a glass of water is like proving your worth to someone who refuses to acknowledge it.

The more you try, the weaker and futile you seem.

The same was true for Susan and Jaden’s relationship, which was sinking incredibly fast

Such a void had been created between them that nothing seemed to be working anymore.

Susan harbored a deep-seated fear that something bad was happening due to Jaden’s poor communication and numerous excuses to avoid spending time together.

With no one aware of their relationship, she had nobody to confide in about the challenges they were facing.

Despite having read numerous books and listened to countless sermons and teachings on relationships over the years, Susan felt unprepared.

She had expected to be equipped to handle difficulties like a seasoned soldier on the battlefield.

But none of her prior knowledge seemed to be helping her now.

At 18, had she made a monumental mistake by entering into a relationship?

Susan contemplated the warning from the Bible found in Songs of Songs 8:4: “Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready”.

She couldn’t help but wonder if investing so much time and energy into sustaining her relationship meant that turning back now would be cruel to herself.

A heavy weight pressed against Susan’s chest.

Moreover, she observed many aspects of her life starting to deteriorate.

Her school work for example suffered, as she prioritized pleasing Jaden more by skipping classes to spend time with him.

She concocted excuses at home and lied to her parents to leave the house, just to see Jaden.

Her finances gradually dwindled too as she tried to impress her boyfriend with gifts, hoping he would appreciate her efforts.

Despite all of it, Jaden remained very distant.

******

Jaden was fully aware of his actions.

While he didn’t intend to be unfair to Susan, he knew he couldn’t provide her with what she truly needed.

Although he understood that the right thing to do was to release her and spare her further pain, he found himself enjoying the gifts she lavished upon him.

He relished the attention he received and found satisfaction in observing Susan struggle each day to please him.

Jaden acknowledged that he was Susan’s first love, but he wasn’t willing to commit to her simply because of that.

To him, their relationship should, at the very least, serve as the training ground Susan needs for future commitments.

He liked her, but love eluded him—at least the kind of love that would lead to genuine commitment.

“Maybe with time,” he mused, considering the possibility that his feelings might change, especially as his father’s health improved significantly.

Yet, how long was he willing to keep Susan hanging on?

He just didn’t care that much.

Jaden needed something deeper to keep him interested and perhaps eventually change his mind.

Of course, he had no intention of telling any of this to Susan.

“She needs to figure it out herself,” he thought.

After all, she was the one who expressed interest first and continually dropped hints for him to ask her out.

He had given her what he knew she desired. Now, he needed a reason to truly love her.

******

As each day passed, the tightness in Susan’s chest grew stronger.

She struggled to understand why Jaden had changed so much from the time he first asked her out, leading to their relationship.

Although she had the option to seek solace in God’s word and pray for guidance, the adrenaline coursing through her young mind drove her to the internet instead.

Desperately searching for answers, Susan stumbled upon something intriguing on Quora: a young woman, aged 24, who had faced the same challenges in her relationship as her.

After recounting her experience, the woman revealed that she regained control over her man by offering her body.

She asserted that he became submissive, eagerly seeking her attention whenever they were apart.

Susan absorbed this information with wide eyes, though not entirely surprised.

She understood the potent influence women held through their bodies and sexuality, often using it to fulfill their desires.

However, she was also aware that engaging in sexual activities with someone of the opposite sex outside of marriage was considered a sin.

For years, Susan had maintained her purity.

Why jeopardize it now, all for the sake of a boy? Was he truly worth it?

She knew the answer.

But the force compelling her toward the wrong choice felt inherently hazardous.

Ignoring the warnings echoing within her spirit, Susan resolved to indulge the desires of her flesh.

She clung to the belief that her God would show her mercy if she asked for forgiveness.

After all, Psalm 103:10–12 reassured her: ” He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us”.

Susan possessed knowledge of her scriptures, but so did the Devil when he tempted Jesus in the wilderness.

******

During one of Susan’s routine visits, Jaden found himself growing increasingly irritable, a feeling he often experienced in her presence.

Hoping she would pick up on his subtle cues, he gently assisted his dad, ensuring he had everything he needed for his rest, before eagerly guiding Susan toward the front door.

To his surprise, she halted him, teasingly mentioning a surprise she had in store for him.

Leading him into the bedroom, she hinted at her intentions, and Jaden caught on.

Not only was Jaden surprised by the sudden boldness of the girl before him, but he also never imagined he would actively respond to it with such desire.

He understood that this encounter wouldn’t change anything between them, at least not for him. He didn’t feel guilty about it either.

Susan had made the choice herself to offer her body to him; he hadn’t asked, so he didn’t feel obligated in any way.

And, the little ounce of respect he had preserved for her seemed to vanish the moment he placed his hands on her.

He recalled how Susan used to emphasize the importance of sexual purity and preserving themselves for the future.

Jaden had never paid much attention to her words, but now he could see how desperation had led Susan to compromise her supposed values.

Despite this realization, he resolved to continue savoring every moment of their encounters, entertaining the possibility that one day he might reconsider their relationship.

Perhaps he would even commit to and love her. However, for now, his priorities remained unchanged.

******

After a bad decision, so many things follow – guilt, regret, shame, and even anger.

Susan couldn’t shake the feeling that she had surrendered her virginity just to keep a boy interested in her, compounding her emotions further.

Though she hadn’t been coerced, the voluntary act left a gaping hole in her heart. She knew she deserved better.

What was so special about Jaden that she obsessed over him?

Susan was aware that her fixation on him was extremely unhealthy, but the damage had already been done.

Was she willing to continue sacrificing her body to maintain his interest and secure some attention from him?

Susan treaded dangerous waters.

She played a perilous game of chess with sin, making her first move with no guarantee of safety.

Eventually, one of them would declare checkmate.